


Unrequited Love

by cherry_blosssom03



Series: Hanahaki Disease [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hanahaki Disease, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possibly Unrequited Love, Suga being the best senpai, Unrequited Love, Why Did I Write This?, good luck, kenhina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherry_blosssom03/pseuds/cherry_blosssom03
Summary: You can't control who you fall for, even if you know it'll never work out, even if you know it will cause your death.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou & Sugawara Koushi, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Off screen Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Hanahaki Disease [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047322
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Deadly Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for reading this, it really means a lot to me! This will be my first fanfic I will be publishing on AO3! I dont really know why I'm making this, I came up with this idea while I was sad and decided to stick with it. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy ^-^.

Loud coughs echoed throughout Nekoma's male bathroom. There, hunched over the sink, was a skinny boy with his blond and brown hair covering his face.

"What is wrong with me?...." Kenma mumbled to himself. He took in some deep breaths, trying to calm down his coughs. Right when he thought his coughing fit was over, a sudden extra painful cough took over him. He wheezed into the sink and he felt a bit of blood come out.

"What the fuck…" he mumbled and looked down at the sink to inspect. His heart sank. 

There laid a bloody pink flower. Kenma stared at it for a few moments, slowly taking in the site.

He chuckled slightly, "So… This childhood crush has finally turned into love?" he spoke calmly. He knew this day would come. The day where his one-sided crush would catch up on him and he would start coughing up flowers. A single tear flowed down his face as he calmly wiped the blood off his face and washed the blood and flower down the sink. 

Suddenly, someone walked in, "Kenma? What's taking you so long, practice is almost over," in came a worried Kuroo. 

_Shit…_ Kenma mentally cursed. He didn't want to worry his childhood friend, so he quickly splashed his face and plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah… Sorry…" he quickly searched his mind to come up with an excuse, "I just vomited a bit… the school lunch was fucking awful today," he said as he dried his face off with his shirt. 

Kuroo frowned and walked over to Kenma, placing his hands on his shoulders, forcing the smaller boy to face him.

Kenma blushed and looked up at him. He felt little butterflies form in his stomach as he gazed upon the taller man. "Kuroo?" he asked, tilting his head like a confused cat. Kuroo put his hand over Kenma's forehead. This took Kenma by surprise, making a small tin of pink form on his cheek. 

"Hmm… yeah, you seem a bit warm. It's not sweat is it?" he pondered. 

Kenma closed his eyes, slightly leaning into Kuroo's touch, craving to feel more. 

"No you just washed your face," he paused to think, not noticing the little blush on Kenma's cheeks. "Okay, practice is off early! I'm taking you home," he declared. 

Kenma looked down, unable to keep eye contact, "No, it's okay…" he brushed off Kuroo's hand. "I can walk myself, you have a team to take care of," he replied, his voice was slightly shaky. He didn't want Kuroo to see him like this. 

Kuroo only laughed, "Like if I would allow you to walk home alone, especially when you are sick!" he exclaimed. 

Kenma sighed in annoyance, "Kuroo, I'm fine, I just wanna be alone…" he begged. Even though he wanted to be with his best friend, he couldn't risk having him see cough up flowers. He quivered at the thought of the amount of questions Kuroo would ask that he wasn't ready to answer. 

Kuroo sighed, "Kenma, I'm walking you home," he demanded, "Stay here and I'll tell everyone else practice is ending early," he released his hold of him and walked out of the bathroom. 

Once he was alone, Kenma crossed his harm over his chest, gently hugging himself. He did not want to stay and wait for Kuroo and have him risk him finding out. "Sorry Kuroo…" he mumbled and quickly ran out of the bathroom. He made his way home alone and didn't even bother to get his stuff from this gym. 

A pain of guilt struck him as he laid down on his bed. He had left Kuroo without saying a word, he knew it was a dick move, but he couldn't risk it.

A painful cough suddenly erupted from his body. Kenma quickly bolted up and ran towards the bathroom. He hunched himself over the toilet and coughed, practically vomiting out bloody pink flowers. 

Though he barely felt the pain. Instead, images of Kuroo's stupid grin flooded his mind. That stupid grin he pretended to hate, but secretly loved. The little butterflies in his stomach when Kuroo touched his forehead, looking at him with those beautiful, hazel, concerned eyes. He knew no one would ever be able to replace him. He knew that Kuroo would probably never return his feelings. He knew, without his love for Kuroo, that his life would become forever dull.

Tears flooded down Kenma’s cheeks, not from the physical pain, but the pain knowing he was going to be in this unrequited love until the Hanahaki disease eventually claimed his life. "Kuroo…." he choked out, a couple of flowers onto the toilet seat. He stared at the bloody flowers with a dead paned expression. 

After a few moments of no flowers coming out, he laid down on the tile floor, curling himself into a ball. He closed his eyes, he was emotionally and physically drained from the previous coughing fit. 

Suddenly he heard his phone notification sound go off. He ignored it at first, not wanting to deal with Kuroo's questions. But after a minute of hearing his notification sound go off continuously for the next minute, he knew he had to face him now. Kenma grudgingly got up and dragged his feet over to his room where the phone was. He turned on his phone, squinting slightly at the light. 

His eyes widened when he saw 15 texts, not from Kuroo, but Shouyou. 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: Kenma!! 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: Keeeennnnmmmaaaa

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KEEENNNNMMAAAAAA

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KENMA ANSWER MEEEEE

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: PLLLZZZZZ

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KENMA

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KEEENNNMMMAAAA

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KENNNMMMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: ANSWER

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: K

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: E

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: N

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: M

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: A

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: ANSWER ME!!!! 

He was surprised but smiled nevertheless. Kenma had a soft spot for Shouyou, there was something about that little tangerine that made him happy. 

Kenma: Shouyou :) 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: KENMA!!!!(つ≧▽≦)つ

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: Wana sleepover this weekend??!?(„ಡωಡ„)

Kenma pondered the question, he didn't want anyone knowing that he had Hanahaki, on the other hand, it would be nice to get his mind off this. Plus, it was Shouyou, he trusted him. 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: Plllzzz(>_<) 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: I need your help setting up my new switch! 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: THEN WE CAN PLAY MARIO KART TOGETHER\\(^ヮ^)/

Kenma smiled at the message. Images of playing video games with Hinata flowed through his mind. "Fuck it," he declared and texted him back. 

Kenma: Yeah, sure :)

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: YAAAAYYY

Kenma: What time? 

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: How about 5 pm? 

Kenma: Sounds good

Kenma laughed and switched off his phone, he was excited for this weekend. Perhaps Shouyou even could help him get his mind off Kuroo. Even if his friend would find out, it would be nice to finally talk about it with someone. He had been keeping his feelings bottled up for as long he could understand what a crush was.

Suddenly, a loud ringtone interrupted his thoughts, he looked at his phone. It was Kuroo. Kenma’s face scrunched up in dread, he didn't want to hear his friend scold him for leaving without him. He was tempted to not answer, and delay the inevitable questions he will have to answer. But he knew Kuroo would just end up coming to his room if he didn't answer. He didn’t want that to happen, so decided to answer the call.

As soon as he accepted the call, Kuroo’s voice boomed through the phone, “KYAMA!!!” 

Kenma almost dropped his phone, surprised by the sudden loud voice. “Kuroo…” He answered back in a quiet voice. His throat was slightly sore from the previous coughing and vomiting.

He heard his friend sigh through the phone, “Kenma, where are you?!” he asked in a worried tone.

Kenma felt a bit guilty for making his friend worry, “Home,” he quickly answered.

He heard Kurro sigh in relief, “At least you're okay, but why did you walk home alone? I told you we would walk home together, and besides, we always do.”

Kenma would usually come up with some sort of snarky remark, but he was too tired to. “Don't know, just didn't feel like waiting,” he answered, his voice cracking a bit.

Kuroo didn't reply for a few moments, making Kenma fidget nervously, slightly scared that his friend was mad at him. “Kenma, are you okay? You seem more distant than usual,” he asked in a soft tone.

Kenma’s heart sank at the question, of course, Kuroo could tell something else was wrong. Anyone else would think Kenma was just being Kenma, but Kuroo could always tell something was wrong. Though, he wasn't ready for Kuroo to find out about this.

“I-I’m fine, just a bit sick,” he stuttered slightly, “Gonna go to sleep now, goodnight.”

“Ken-” Kuroo’s voice was cut off by Kenma hanging up. He turned his phone on silent and switched it off. He turned off his light and curled into a small ball on his bed. He didn't sleep at all that night. The fear of the deadly Hanahaki disease and fantasies of being Kuroo’s boyfriend kept him thinking all night long. 

~~~~~~~~

Hinata squealed under his bed covers, blushing madly. “I DID IT!” he praised himself, “I ASKED KENMA TO COME OVER!” he shouted, jumping out of his bed, doing a little victory dance. 

Suddenly his door burst open, “SHUT UP SHOUYOU!” his little sister yelled in an annoyed tone.

“UWWAAAA SORRY!” he apologized as his sister shut his door. 

_I have to tell Suga-senpai!_ He thought as he took out his phone. Sugawara was the one who convinced Hinata to shoot his shot with Kenma. 

Hinata has been crushing on Kenma for a few months now, ever since he ran into Kenma on the street. Something about him made Hinata’s heart go ‘BWAAAAHH’, as he put it.

He quickly dialed Sugawara’s number and called him. The phone rang for no more than a second before Suga picked up. 

“WHAT DID HE SAY?!” he heard Sugawara shout through his phone. This would’ve startled anyone else, but Hinata stayed unaffected

“HE SAID YES ABOUT COMING OVER!” Hinata whispered yelled into the phone. 

“Great start! Now you just have to wait for the perfect moment and ask him out!” Suga said in a proud tone. 

This made Hinata freak out slightly, “How do I know when it is the right moment!?” he could feel all the confidence leave his body.

“Hmm…” Suga thought for a moment, “Wait until the both of you are alone, preferably the only ones awake, the lights are dim and you guys are either chatting away or maybe watching a movie.”

Hinata quickly got out his notebook and wrote down a summary of what Suga was saying. He didn't want to take any chances of him forgetting the advice that was coming directly from his upperclassmen himself.

“Wait until _you_ feel that the moment is right, and then just tell him how you feel!’’ Suga explained.

This gave Hinata the _perfect_ idea on how to confess. “Gwwaahh!! Thank you Suga-senpai! I have a perfect idea!” he exclaimed.

Sugawara chuckled, “Good good, oh! I almost forgot!”

Hinata tilted his head in confusion, “Eh?”

“Make sure you give him some Apple-Pie, I stalked all forms of his social media and confirmed that Apple-Pie is his favorite food!” Sugawara stated proudly.

“Ehh?? But I don’t know how to make Apple-Pie,” he whined.

Suga chuckled, “Well you can always buy it, he hasn't shown any distaste in store-bought pie,” He suggested, “Or...I could come over a few hours before and help you make it?” he said, Hinata could practically see the sly smirk on Suga's face. 

Hinata's eyes lit up, "That would be perfect!!!" he exclaimed. 

Suga grinned, "Great, what time is he coming over?" he asked.

"He's coming over at 5 pm."

Suga thought for a moment, "I'll come over at 11 am then, sounds good?" he asked.

Hinata vigorously nodded but realized Suga couldn't see him. "Hmph! Sounds good!" 

"Okay great! We’ll make the best apple-pie Kenma has ever eaten!" he said in a determined voice. 

"HAHA, YOU BET!" Hinata shouted in joy, "EEEK I'M SO EXCITED!" he squealed. 

"Okay, okay," Suga chuckled, "Try and get some sleep, yeah? You need to keep up a good sleep schedule so you can be fully energized Saturday!" 

Hinata pouted, "Eeehh, I'm not tired though!" he whined. He was way too hyper to go to sleep now. 

"Okay, try and calm down and get some sleep. You don't want to fall asleep on Kenma, do you?" he warned. 

Hinata rapidly shook his head, "No I want Kenma to fall asleep on my shoulder!" 

"Well at this rate you will fall asleep on his shoulder," he laughed. 

Hinata blushed at the thought of falling asleep on Kenma’s shoulder, "I mean, that doesn't sound too bad…" he trailed off. 

"Hinata, you are asking him out, you should be the one taking care of him." 

Hinata sighed, "True… Okay, I'll go to sleep! For Kenma!" 

Suga giggled, "For Kenma." 


	2. He can't find out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo comes over to check up on Kenma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the last one, but the next one is gonna be longer :3

Kenma ended up staying home for the day, he told his mom that he had a fever. She didn't question it much and headed to work. He didn't have the physical or emotional energy to pretend everything was okay to Kuroo and the team. Besides, he was gonna see Shouyou tomorrow, he wanted to preserve his energy for that little bundle of sunshine. 

He laid in bed all day, playing on his Switch to try to distract himself from everything going on in his life. He would sometimes have to pause his game to hack up some flowers into the garbage-can he provided himself. 

Kenma felt his stomach rumble, he looked at the time to see it was nearing the end of practice. He sighed, he hadn't eaten all day since he was too tired to get up and make himself some food. 

“Ugh...I'll eat when I see Shouyou tomorrow,” he mumbled to himself, putting his arm over his eyes. 

Suddenly, his bedroom door burst open, “Oh no you're not, Kenma. You are eating now!” Kuroos voice boomed throughout his room.

Kenma flinched, “EEK!” he screeched and fell off the bed. His heart was pounding, _KUROO, what is he doing here?!_ He quickly pushed the garbage-can full of his blood and flowers underneath his bed. 

“KENMA!” Kuroo rushed towards him but stopped when he saw Kenma giving a cat-like death glare towards him. “Wow!” He put up his hands, “No need to look at me like that!”

“Then don’t fucking scare me like that,” he hissed through his teeth.

Kuroo awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, “Sorry, I wanted to surprise you!”

Kenma rolled his eyes, “You know I don’t like that stuff,” he rubbed his eyes in annoyance. _Why do I like him again?_ He pondered. “Now, why are you here,” he asked in annoyance.

“I knew he wouldn’t be eating anything, so I left practice early to get you some Ramen, rice balls, and….” he paused for a moment for dramatic effect, “apple piiieeee,” he cooed and held up two bags which contained the food in a somewhat taunting way.

Kenma’s eyes lit up slightly when he heard Kuroo mention apple pie, “Apple pie?” he asked, all annoyance immediately leaving his voice.

Kuroo grinned, “Yup! That's right!”

Kenma felt his heart soften at the sight. _Oh right, this is why…_ he smiled softly at the thought. He blushed slightly, thinking about how lucky he was to have Kuroo in his life. “Thanks…” He looked down and pulled himself back on his bed. 

Kuroo grin turned into a cocky smirk, “Knew it,” he placed the Ramen and apple pie in front of his friend.

Kenma reached straight for the apple pie, but Kuroo lightly slapped his hand, “Oi, eat your Ramen first,” he scolded, taking away the apple pie. 

Kenma pouted but clasped his hands together,"Itadakimasu," he said and started to eat the Ramen. The hot liquid soothed his sore throat as it went down. He let out a small moan, not realizing how much he needed this until now. He started quickly slurping up the Ramen noodles as Kuroo watched with a small smile. 

“Hungry huh?” he laughed.

Kenma didn't reply, fully focused on the food he was eating. Before he knew it, the Ramen bowl was empty 

“Damn, that was the fastest I’ve ever seen you eat!” Kuroo laughed.

Kenma rolled his eyes, and held out his hand, “Apple-pie, now” he demanded. 

“Alright, alright,” he laughed and handed his friend the pie. 

Kenma smiled slightly at the pie and started eating in. The familiar comforting taste filled his mouth, making him temporarily forget everything going wrong in his life.

Kuroo’s face suddenly got serious, but Kenma paid no mind to it, the only thing on his mind was pie. 

When he ate the last bit of pie off his plate, he smiled slightly at Kuroo, “Thanks!” 

Though Kuroo didn't reply. Kenma felt the atmosphere in the room change into a more serious one. He saw his friend look at him with a nervous, yet concerned face. “K-Kuroo?” he stuttered out while nervously fidgeted with his covers waiting for a response. He could tell the series of questions he’d been dreading was about to come to pass.

“Kenma…” he said in a hesitant voice. “Are you okay?...”

“I’m not okay, I’m sick!” He retorted in a cold tone, trying to act natural. _Stupid Kenma! You’ve shown too much vulnerability, he's getting suspicious!_ He internally scolded himself.

Kuroo sighed, clearly annoyed, “You know what I mean,” he said in an exasperated voice, “I’m your best friend, I can tell something else is wrong.”

_Friend_

That word stung Kenma’s heart more than it should’ve. _Friends...that's all we are ever gonna be…_ It just reminded him of his stupid love, and the flowers he had to cough off due to that. 

A hand suddenly waved in front of his face, cutting off his thoughts, “Kenma?” Kenma gently called out.

Kenma shook his head, rubbing his fingers against his eyes, “Look, I don't-,” he was cut off by a sudden feeling of vomit rising. _Fuck.._ he internally cursed. He could see Kuroo’s eyes widen with worry. 

“Kenma?” He reached out to pat Kenma’s back, but he ran off to the bathroom before he had the chance. “Kenma!!” He called out to him and started to follow him.

He rushed into the bathroom, not forgetting to lock the door. He collapsed onto the bathroom floor, painfully vomiting out a mix of flowers and food. He could vaguely hear Kuroo banging on his bathroom door and calling out his name. He started to get annoyed. _Just leave me alone!_

“FUCK OFF KUROO!” Kenma yelled in a voice that didn't feel like his own. 

He had never yelled at his best friend before, sure some snarky remarks here and there but he never _yelled_ at him. He never had a reason to. 

Kuroo was silent for a few moments, unsure of what he should do. “Okay...but please take care of yourself, okay?" he gently begged. 

Kenma didn't respond, not having any energy left to speak to him. After a few moments, heard Kuroo's footsteps slowly walk away from the door and he let out a sigh of relief. He knew he was only delaying the inevitable, but he didn’t dare to face it just yet. 

He closed his eyes, letting the tears slip down his face. Kenma had never felt such an intense feeling of hopelessness. He knew Kuroo was never going to like him back, he knew this was a hopeless love and he should just suck it up and get the surgery. But to be quite frankly honest, he was scared too. He didn't want to get rid of the butterfly feeling in his stomach whenever Kuroo touched him, the happiness he felt from just being in Kuroo’s presence and the joy he felt just from seeing Kuroo smile, especially when he was the one to cause it. Those were some of the few things that never failed to make him feel joy, and he didn’t want to get rid of that. But he knew if he kept that, the flowers were going to fill up his lungs and kill him.

“Hehe…” he chuckled lightly, “ _Am I really gonna die like this?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Kenma didn't die :P


	3. Apple Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga and Hinata bake a pie :3

It was already 10:55 am, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving off its natural light. Though, no matter how brightly the sun shined, it could not compare to Hinata’s excited smile as he waited for Suga to show up at his house. Both Natsu and his Mom were still asleep Hinata kept them up late last night with all the excited, weird noises he was making, yet here he was, with the least amount of sleep in the house, full of energy and ready to start the day.

A few minutes went by and he heard a soft knock on his door, Hinata rushed towards the door and opened it. There stood Suga dressed in warm clothes, his cheeks were slightly flushed from the cold, “Suga-san!” Hinata greeted happily and let the taller male inside. 

Suga made a small sigh of relief, “Thanks, it's cold outside,” he said as he took off his shoes and coat and put on some indoor slippers. 

“Can we start making the pie now?” Hinata asked excitedly, practically jumping up and down.

Suga chuckled, “Hold your horses' lovebird, let's see what ingredients you have and then go to the supermarket to buy the rest,” he instructed. 

Hinata made an ‘oh’ face, “Oh yeah! I almost forgot ingredients are a thing, hehe,” he awkwardly laughed, he was really glad Suga was here to help.

Suga playfully rolled his eyes and went to check the cabinets and the fridge, “Hmm, looks like you already have about a quarter of the ingredients, lets go get the rest shall we?” he smiled 

Hinata rapidly nodded, "Lemme go get some money!" he ran off up the stairs to his mom's room.

"Mom," he whispered hesitantly, his mom didn't like being woken up. 

"Hm?" she hummed, still half asleep. 

"Can I have some money for ingredients for some apple pie?" he asked, quietly. 

His mother groaned, "Fine, there is some cash in my purse, bring back the change…," she mumbled, rolling over and going back to sleep. 

"Thanks," he whispered and closed the door. 

He sprinted downstairs and grabbed some yen out of his mother's purse. He turned to Suga, "We can go now!" he chirped happily. 

Suga didn't reply and was sitting on the couch texting someone. He was smiling, with a small blush on his cheeks. 

Hinata pouted, "Sugaaa-saaaaan," he whined. 

Suga flinched and quickly texted a goodbye, "Sorry! What did you say?" he asked, putting the phone away. 

Hinata wanted to ask who he was texting but decided not to. His mind was solely focused on making Kenma the best apple pie ever! "We can go now!" he repeated with a smile.

Smiling, Suga stood up, “Let's go then! Make sure you dress warmly, it's cold outside,” he said as he was putting his jacket on.

“Okay!” Hinata replied as he rushed to the front door. He slipped on his jacket, gloves, and a hat, being extra precocious since he didn't want to risk catching a cold while Kenma was here. 

He opened the door, “Come on Suga-san!” he said, waving him over.

Suga laughed, “Coming, coming,” he replied following Hinata out the door. 

Hinata locked the door behind and went off with Suga to buy the ingredients.

~~~~~~~

_ It's cold... _

That's all Kenma could feel.

He grudgingly opened up his eyes, and slowly got up, wincing when he felt a sharp, throbbing pain in his head. He looked around his surroundings. A white wall, a cold tile floor, and a toilet.  _ Did I really fall asleep in the bathroom?  _ He thought to himself. 

Kenma grudgingly got up, holding onto the toilet and the sink for support. He rubbed his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't need anyone to tell him that he looked awful. 

There were deep gray bags under his eyes, his skin was sickly pale, his hair was in a tangled mess, but most of all were his eyes. They were still puffy red from crying and there was no life in them whatsoever. It was as if he were staring into the eyes of his own corpse. 

Kenma sighed and turned on the sink and splashed his face with some cold water. After he dried his face off with a towel, he stumbled his way back to his bedroom. He felt like he was forgetting something. He sighed with relief when he saw his phone in the charger, the thought for a moment he forgot to charge his phone. He turned on his phone, squinting slightly from the light. He saw one unopened message from Hinata, sent at 9 am, it was now noon.

Shouyou (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃: Hey are we still good for today?

Kenma smiled slightly at the message as he remembered that he was going to see Shouyou today. Sure he knew it probably wasn't the best idea to go out in his current condition, but he just wanted something,  _ someone,  _ to distract him.

Kenma: Yeah, ofc :)

_ I should probably start getting ready now… _ he thought to himself as he turned off his phone. He grabbed a random towel off the floor and smelled it. “Smells clean,” he mumbled and went off to take a shower. He still smelled like a mix of vomit, sweat, and blood from the night before. 

About an hour later, he was ready to leave the house. He put on his warmest sweater, a scarf, and a small hat; he grabbed his small backpack filled with stuff he will need to stay the night and headed out the door. Kenma shivered slightly as he felt the cold hit his face, but didn't think much of it and just made his way over to the train station. 

~~~~~~~~~

Hinata and Sugawara walked into his house laughing, “And so that's how Oikawa and I almost got arrested and adopted a litter of kittens, all in one night,’’ Suga finished off with a proud, placing the groceries down to take off his shoes.

Hinata closed the door behind him, still laughing “How are the kittens doing now?” he asked and did the same.

“Oh, we found them loving homes, but I ended up keeping one and he ended up keeping one, I named mine Oinky and he named his Freshy,” Sugawara said, smiling fondly at the memory as he took off his coat, gloves, and hat, “We decided to name them after each other in honor of our first, yet chaotic date,” He laughed. 

“Aww, that's so sweet! I hope I can do something like that with Kenma!” Hinata exclaimed, taking off his winter clothes.

Suga raised an eyebrow, “Do you think Kenma could outrun the cops, and carry home 7 kittens?” he inquired playully, picking up the groceries again. 

Hinata paused for a moment, “Yeah no,” He laughed and shook his head as he picked up the grocer bags.

Sugawara clasped his hand, “Alright! Enough on that, let's start making this Apple Pie!” he declared. 

“Yes! Let's do it!” Hinata shouted, jumping up and down. 

~~~~~~

The pie was now in the oven, both Hinata and Sugawara were sitting on the couch beside each other, waiting for it to be done. Hinata looked over at Sugawara who was typing away on his phone. He was so grateful for Suga to be here, he wouldn’t have the courage to confront Kenma about his feelings if it weren't for his wonderful senpai. 

“Suga-Senpai?” Hinata called out, breaking the silence between them. 

“Hmm?” Suga hummed in response, putting his phone away.

“Thank you...for everything. I wouldn’t have had the courage to confess to Kenma if it wasn’t for you,” he said, giving Suga a grateful smile.

Sugawara’s face melted at the sight, “Oh Hinata!” he exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug and patting him on his head, “Anything for my favorite Kohai~” he cooed.

Hinata squeaked in surprise, “ACK! S-Suga- I can’t breathe.”

Suga simply laughed and pulled away from the hug, he kept one casual arm around Hinata and they fell back into a comfortable silence. 

Hinata’s mind drifted off into how the confession would play out. He imagined Kenma blushing, shyly telling Hinata he liked him too. This made him blush in happiness. Though, it wasn't long before he thought of Kenma rejecting him. Just the thought of it made his stomach turn. He realized he had no idea what to do if that happened. 

“Suga-San…” he broke the silence, his voice sounding more quiet and anxious than usual. 

Suga glanced at him with a worried look on his face, “What is it Hinata?” he asked in a worried and carrying voice.

“What do I do if he rejects me?” Hinata asked, looking at his senpai with sad eyes.

Suga pondered the question for a moment, “Accept it, and move on. I know it's hard, trust me I do...but it's best to move on so you won’t fall into an unrequited love….you know what happens when that happens...,” he trailed off in the end, with a sorrowful look in his eyes.

Hinata felt the atmosphere change around them into a more serious tone. He could tell something changed about Suga when he said that. “You...you sound like you are speaking from experience…” he spoke hesitantly.

Suga plastered on a soft, yet sad smile, “I am...and I don't want you to ever experience that,” he said as he gave a gentle pat on Hinata’s head. 

They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, Hinata’s eyes filled with wonder and empathy. It all made sense to him now, why Suga was so adamant about him confessing so soon. Suga wanted him to confess while it was still a crush, while it had not developed into true love yet. So it would be easier to move on in case Kenma didn't return his feelings.

“Suga-san…” Hinata spoke quietly, unable to figure out what to say next. His respect for his senpai only doubled.

Suga’s smile turned into a more happy one, his hand was still in Hinata’s hair, “Hey, it's okay, it led me to get close with Too-I mean Oikawa. I love him, and he loves me. So even if it doesn't work out with Kenma, don't lose hope, okay?” he grinned and ruffled Hinata’s hair. He then stood up. “The pie should be ready,” he said and walked to the kitchen.

Hinata sat on the couch for a few more moments, taking in and thinking about what Suga said.  _ Wow...Suga really is cool. He didn’t deserve to go through that...it must have been so painful _ .  _ He is so strong too… Would I be able to handle it?....To be in an unrequited love?  _ Hethought to himself. He then slapped his cheeks, leaving a slight red mark on his face, “Okay! No more sad thoughts, only happy from here on out!’’ He declared to himself.

“The pie came out perfectly!’’ Suga exclaimed, bringing out a steaming hot apple-pie onto the counter.

Hinata shot off the couch and ran over to the counter, and gasped at how perfect the pie looked. He looked up at Suga with stars in his eyes, “GWWAAAHH!! IT LOOKS SO GOOD! KENMA IS GONNA LOVE IT! THANK YOU SUGA-SENPAI!” he shouted and jumped into Suga’s arms to hug him.

“Oof!” Suga said as he caught the hyper boy in his arms. He chuckled slightly and gave Hinata a light pat on the head, “It was my pleasure,” they stayed like that for a few moments until Hinata pulled away. 

He looked at the time and gasped, “It's 4:50! Kenma is gonna be here soon!” Hinata exclaimed, time went by a lot faster than he expected. He felt himself getting nervous again. “Ahh! Suga-san, I’m scared!” he spoke nervously. 

Suga placed his hands on Hinata’s shoulder, and looked at him dead in the eye, “Hey, it's gonna be okay. You got this! Alright? I’ll keep my ringer on full blast. So if you need anything, don't hesitate to call or text me, okay?” He then gave Hinata an encouraging slap on the back.

“Ouch!” Hinata winced at the sudden slap. But that somehow calmed his nerves down. He took in a deep breath and let it out. “Okay, thank you,” he spoke a lot more calmly.

Suga gave him a satisfied smile, “Alright! I should be heading off now, good luck!” he said and gave Hinata one last head pat before heading to the door. 

Hinata smiled and followed Suga to the door and handed, “Thank you again Suga-san!”

“No problem, don’t chicken out okay?” he said as he slipped on his jacket.

“Don’t worry! I won't!” Hinata reassured with a smile. 

Suga grinned and opened up the door, “Make sure to use protection,” he blurted out and quickly closed the door.

Hinata’s face went completely red, “SUGA-” he groaned in embarrassment and stomped to the couch and waited for Kenma to show up.


	4. Who is it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma and Hinata have a sleep over :D

Kenma slowly walked up to Shouyou’s house. He raised his hand to knock but stopped himself.  _ Is this really a good idea?  _ He thought to himself as he stared at Shouyou’s door. He knew that Shouyou was probably going to find out about his disease, and he wasn’t completely sure if he was ready for that.  _ I could just go back home...it's not too late… _ he thought for a moment but an image of a sad Shouyou flashed through his mind. He couldn't let that happen.

Kenma took in a deep breath, “Here goes nothing….” mumbled and softly knocked on the door. He heard loud footsteps approaching the door, and out came an excited Shouyou. 

“KEEENNMMAAA!” Shouyou shouted as he threw himself at Kenma into a hug.

Kenma’s eyes widened in shock as he stumbled back slightly. He looked down to see Shoyou happily hugging him. This sight made Kenma’s heart soften as he slowly put his arms around his friend, hugging him back. “Shouyou…” he mumbled and buried his face in Shouyou’s shoulder. For a moment, he had forgotten everything going wrong in his life. 

After a few moments Shouyou pulled away. “Come on in Kenma! I got a surprise for you~” he cooed and ran back inside. 

Kenma tilted his head in confusion and walked inside. He was immediately hit with the scent of fresh baked apple-pie. His eyes widened, “Shouyou? Is my nose playing tricks on me or is that apple-pie?” he asked, he hardly believed his nose. 

“It's apple pie!,” Shouyou giggled, “I baked it for you!” he stated proudly.

Kenma smiled slightly, he didn’t know what he did to deserve a friend like Shouyou. “Thank you, Shouyou, lets eat it together,” he said, giving Shouyou a soft sweet smile. He saw Shouyou look away, his ears turning a small tint of red. He didn't think too much of it and took off all of his winter clothing.

“O-Of course! Let me prepare a couple of plates for us!” Shouyou proclaimed and ran off into the kitchen to get the plates.

Kenma laughed slightly and made his way over to the table and sat down. Not long after, Shouyou came out with two plates of apple-pie. 

“Here you go!” Shouyou said as he set down the plate in front of Kenma. 

Kenma wanted to immediately dig in, but waited for Shouyou to sit down. 

They both clasped their hands together, “Itadakimasu!” they said in unison and started to eat the apple-pie.

Kenma’s eyes widened as he took in the first bite, he could feel it practically melt in his mouth. “Shouyou! This is the best apple-pie I’ve ever had!” he exclaimed, happily taking in another bite. It was rare for him to have the privilege to eat homemade apple-pie, he would usually get them in a store or at a restaurant. 

He saw Shouyou’s eyes sparkle with excitement, “Thank you! Suga-san and I worked really hard on it!” he stated proudly. 

Kenma raised an eyebrow, “Sugawara-san helped you? Why though?” he asked and took another bite. 

“Oh, hehe’’ Shouyou laughed nervously, “He um...Didn't want me to mess up! Yeah!’’

Kenma could tell Shouyou wasn't telling the complete truth but didn't press it any further, “Ah, okay, tell him I say thanks,” he spoke casually and continued to eat his pie.

“Will do!” Shouyou said, giving a thumbs up.

They continued to eat the apple pie until the plate was empty. Hinata stood up, “Come on! Let's set up the switch!”

Kenma nodded and stood up, “Okay let's go,” His eyes widened when Shouyou suddenly grabbed his hand and dragged him stares to his room. If this was anyone else, he would have immediately pulled his hand away, very annoyed. But there was something about the tangerine that made him completely fine with it.

“My mom got me a mini tv to go with the switch! Though I don’t know how to set it up, hehe…” he laughed, awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck.

“It's okay I got this,’’ he reassured and bent down, plugging in everything in the right place. He could feel Shouyou’s eyes on him, but didn’t think much of it.  _ He must just be watching me set this up so he can do it on his own next time…  _ He thought to himself.

After a few more minutes, Kema finally got everything set up. “Alright, it's ready,” he stated and turned on the tv. The switch logo appeared on the screen.

Shouyou jumped up and down in excitement, “Thank you Kenma!” he exclaimed and pulled out the nunchucks, “Here you go! Let's play some Mario Kart!”

Kenma smiled softly and grabbed the nunchuck from Shouyou’s hand, “Okay,” he replied. Despite everything that has been going on, he felt happy.  _ Shouyou really is something special… _ he thought happily and sat down next to his friend on the floor.

Shouyou let Kenma play the first player since he knew more about the game and the switch overall. “What character should I play?” he asked.

Kenma thought for a moment about what character would suit Shouyou. “Hmm...how about Toad?” he suggested.

“Okay!” Shouyou replied and picked Toad with no hesitation. 

Kenma picked Rosellina since he’s always liked her since Super Mario Galaxy came out. The options for the karts came up. He looked over to see Shouyou struggling to pick something. He chuckled quietly at the sight. “I suggest you choose a bike since they are good at drifting,” he said when the option for the karts came up.

“Okay, thanks Kenma!” he responded and they continued to choose their Karts and track they wanted to do.

They ended up playing Mario Kart for a few hours. Kenma won most of the races despite going easy on Shouyou.

“Ack! I'm so bad at this!” He whined as he pulled his hair in frustration when he lost yet again.

Kenma laughed slightly at Shouyou’s reaction. “It's okay Shouyou, you’re still new to this, with practice you will get very good, okay?” He reassured and placed his hand on Shouyou’s soft orange hair and gave it a gentle rub without thinking.

Shouyou’s face suddenly turned a bright red, “AH YES YOU ARE RIGHT AHAHAHA” He shouted, obviously very flustered.

Kenma tilted his head in confusion, he had seen multiple other people give Shouyou a head pat, what was so different about him? “Shouyou, are you okay?” he asked in a concerned tone. 

“AH! Echem,” Shouyou cleared his throat, “Yes! I am! I just need to use the bathroom, excuse me!” He stood up, and took off running to the bathroom, and left a confused Kenma alone in his room.

~~~~~~~

Hinata ran towards the bathroom and locked the door, and took in a deep breath. “Ugh...he’s so pretty!” he whined as he covered his bright red face. He looked into the mirror to see himself with a panicked flustered expression.  _ NO! _ He internally declared and slapped his face, leaving red marks on his cheeks. Hinata leaned onto the sinking looking into the mirror with a determined expression.

“You can do this Shouyou! Belief in yourself! You once hit Kageyama in the head with a volleyball, this is nothing compared to that!” he cringed at the memory, “Just tell him!” he demanded hiselft. He took in a quick deep breath. “Okay, I got this!” he told himself with a determined voice. 

Shouyou then opened up the bathroom, and marched back to his room with a new found determination and bravery.  _ It's now or never! _ He told himself. His eyes landed on Kenma patiently waiting for him to come back. The light from the tv was hitting his face perfectly, creating this cooling looking shadow with his hair. 

Kenma turned to Hinata, “Oh hi, Shouyou,” he said with a soft smile on his face. Hinata’s first name rolled off his tongue ever so perfectly. 

This made Hianta’s heart skip a beat.  _ Sooo...pretty? Hot? CUTE? WHAT IS HE?!  _ He internally shouted. 

He took a deep breath to prevent himself from panicking evenmore, “H-Hey!” he stuttered in his usual cheerful tone. He quickly made his way over to Kenma and sat down next to him. He knew he had to tell him  _ now,  _ when his mini pep talk was still fresh in his mind, or else the effect would wear off and he would chicken out. He looked at kenma who was casually playing a minigame on his phone. The hair covered his face ever so slightly creating a shadow that highlighted all of his attractive features. Hinata looked away, unable to look at his beauty any longer. 

He took in a deep breath.  _ Okay let's do this.  _ He told himself.

Hinata glanced at Kenma but looked back at the ground again. “K-Kenma?” he hesitantly called out. 

Kenma looked at him, “Yes Shouyou?” he asked, his voice was slightly hoarse, like if he were holding in a cough. 

Hinata didn’t think much of it. “Well… Um.. Basically…,” he took in a deep breath, his eyes were glued to the ground.  _ Don't get nervous now!  _ He scolded himself. "I li-" he was about to say it, finally confess his feelings to him. But he was interrupted by a loud cough. He looked up to see Kenma coughing into his hands. 

Hinata's eyes widened with worry, his entire plan was thrown out the window. “K-Kenma? Are you okay? Kenma!” he shouted desperately, he placed his hands on Kenma's shoulders as he continued to cough. These coughs weren't normal, they sounded painful and agonizing. His heart dropped when he saw a bit of blood slipping out in between Kenma's fingers. "Kenma! There's blood!" he gasped. 

Kenma took in a deep, scratchy breath, “S-Shouyou…” he choked out painfully. He slowly opened his hand, showing Hinata the bloody cherry blossoms petals. 

Hinata's heart sank when he saw this.  _ Flowers… Blood.. Cough… _ “You...have the Hanahaki” he asked hesitantly, he didn't want to admit the truth. 

Kenma responded with a weak nod.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Neither Kenma or Hinata said anything. The only sound was Kenma's desperate attempts at clearing his throat as Hinata slowly processed the new information.

Finally, Hinata looked at Kenma and gently cupped his cheeks and wiped away a bit of blood left on his mouth. "Who?" Hinata softly asked. He waited patiently for Kenma’s response, dreading the answer. He had a gut feeling he wouldn't like the answer. 

“K-Kuroo…” Kenma choked out and coughed up another flower petal.

Hinata felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to shout in frustration, but he didn't. He had to keep it together, he had to be strong for Kenma. He pulled Kenma into a gentle hug, as if he were afraid to hurt him.

Kenma responded to the hug by weakly grabbing onto Hianta’s shoulders.

Hinata took in a shaky breath, trying his best to hold in his tears. “Are you planning to get surgery?” he asked calmly. His voice showed no hint of the pain he was feeling. Hinata felt Kenma shake his head against his shoulder. A few tears slipped down his cheeks as a new fear took over him. 

The fear of losing Kenma. 

“Kenma….you’ll die..,” he choked out a sob. 

“I know…’ Kenma responded weakly. Hinata could tell it was painful for Kenma to even speak.

Hinata’s grip tightened on Kenma and he buried his face into his shoulder, “Kenma...please...I can’t lose you,” he begged in between sobs.

Kenma closed his eyes, and allowed Hinata to cry into his shoulder, “I’m sorry…” he mumbled.

Flashbacks of all the times Hinata and Kenma spent time together played through Hinata’s mind. How he immediately started crushing on kenma when he first saw him on the street. At first it was just based on looks, but as their friendship grew, Hinata felt himself fall deeper into this crush. Everytime Kenma gave him that soft, shy smile he could feel a huge boost of euphoria. It made him happy to see Kenma happy, even if he wasn't the one to make him smile.  _ I want Kenma to live...I want him to be happy…. _ How he wished he could be the one to make Kenma happy. But he knew that wasn't the case. He felt a new kind of determination, he wasn't going to let Kenma die. 

Hinata pulled away from the hug and placed his hands firmly on Kenmas shoulders and stared into his eyes. “No, you are NOT going to die. You are going to confess to Kuroo,” he spoke in a firm voice. 

“Shouyou...it won’t work…” Kenma responded as he looked down, unable to meet Hinata’s eyes. 

“You won’t know unless you try!” Hinata exclaimed with pure desperation in his voice, “You think I’m going to let you die like this? No! I lo-” he almost said love, he cleared his throat, “I care for you! You are my friend, and I want to see you happy and alive!”

“Bu-”

“NO BUTS! You are going to confess to Kuroo on Monday, and we are going to figure out how tonight!” He spoke firmly, to show he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Kenma stared at him with wide eyes, it was silent for a few moments before he finally decided to speak. "Okay…" he sighed in defeat. "I'm going to die anyways, what's the harm?" he mumbled out loud. 

Hinata lightly slapped him on the face, “Don’t think like that!” he scolded. "You aren't going to die Kenma, not on my watch!" he declared and pulled his best  _ friend  _ into a hug. 


	5. Confession Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kenma plan out the confession :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to thank @blutreina and @Insomiowo for being the first to comment on this work! This really helped me find the motivation to edit this chapter. So thank you so much, I really appreciate it! :D

“Shouyou I’m not doing that,” Kenma said, completely shutting down the idea. 

“Eh? Why not? That would surely win his heart!” Shouyou exclaimed.

Kenma wondered how his friend could sound so confident. “His favorite food is mackerel pike, I hate the smell of fish,” he retorted and then paused for a moment, “Besides, I don’t think I’ll be able to tell him straight to his face…,” he responded nervously. He knew it was looked down upon to not fess up the courage and confess face to face. But he knew he would chicken out if he was left to do that.

Shouyou gave him an understanding smile, making Kenma feel a bit more at ease. “Okay then!” He chirped, and paused to think for a moment, “How about a love letter? It’ll speak for you and you can pour your heart out to him that way! And if you want, I can even help you write it!”

Kenma looked down, he didn't like the idea. He found a love letter to be way too cheesy. But it was probably the only way he would properly get his feelings out. “Hmm...okay,” he sighed in defeat.

Shouyou clasped his hands together, “Great!” he stood up, “I'll go get a pen and paper and you can write your letter!” he exclaimed and walked off to his desk to search for a pen and paper.

“Now?...” Kenma spoke hesitantly. 

Shouyou pulled out a paper and a black pen, “Of course now! I gotta review your letter to make sure it is perfect!” he exclaimed as he held out the materials towards Kenma

Kenma knew there was going to be no arguing with Shoyou, “Okay…” he sighed in defeat and grabbed the pen and paper from his friend’s hands. He stared at the paper for a few moments, unsure of what he should write. “What do I write?” he asked.

“Hmm...I don’t know, maybe something like, ‘Kuroo you make me feel all GWWAAHH inside, please date me’,” he suggested.

Kenma stared at Shouyou for a few moments, trying to find any sign of joking, but couldn’t find anything. He laughed slightly, he found it cute how simple Shouyou’s mind worked. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. He would think that  _ you  _ are the one confessing.”

“Hehe, true. That doesn’t really fit you,” he laughed. Shouyou looked down, placing his hand on his chin to show that he was trying to think of something else, “Just write how you feel I guess? It doesn’t have to be super complicated, just try and get the point across!”

Kenma sighed, he should’ve known his friend wouldn’t come up with a good answer. “Okay,” he responded in a monotone voice.  _ Just...don’t overthink it, like Shouyou... _ He silently told himself. Almost on cue, he found himself writing out his confession. His entire mind went blank and his hands seemed to be moving on their own. Before he knew it, he was finished writing it out. 

“Ooo, is it done? Read it out to me!’’ Shouyou demanded in a happy voice.

Kenma didn’t want to read it, but he didn’t wish to argue about it. “Okay…” he sighed in defeat. He didn’t even fully remember what he wrote down, but he knew this was going to be embarrassing.

Kenma took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to read out loud. “Dear Kuroo, you have been my best friend ever since we were children. Somewhere along the line, I started to crush on you. I tried to brush it off, I really did. I knew what it would mean to fall for you. But I couldn’t help it. Just everything about you is so amazing. What I’m trying to say is, I love you Kuroo,” He finished off with a huge breath of relief that it was over. He waited for a response from Shouyou, but he didn't hear anything. 

He slowly looked up from the paper to see any facial reaction his friend might have. Kenma’s eyes widened when he saw silent tears streaming down Shouyou’s rosy cheeks. “Shouyou?! Why are you crying?” Kenma exclaimed in a worried tone. He instinctively reached out and cupped Shouyou's cheek. 

He felt Shouyoou lean into his touch. The same way he would lean into Kuroo’s. Shouyou smiled through his tears, “It was beautiful Kenma...he’ll definitely love you back,” he spoke calmly as if he weren’t crying at all. 

This only worried Kenma even more, “Shouyou....” he whispered and cupped his other cheek, “But… Why are you crying?” he asked again.  _ What is making Shouyou this sad?...  _

Shouyou shook his head and removed his face from Kenma's gentle grip. “It doesn't matter,” he quickly wiped his tears away. “I'm going to go use the bathroom, hehe,” he awkwardly laughed. 

“What again? Shouyou what's-,” but his friend had already runoff. He was tempted to go after him but didn't want to intrude on his privacy. But he still couldn't help but wonder, what was wrong with his  _ friend.  _

~~~~~~~

Hinata rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He then slid down against the door and pulled his knees against his chest, burying his face into his knees. He finally let out the quiet sobs he had been holding in.  _ Hearing that… Hurt a lot more than I expected.  _ He weakly laughed to himself, he felt so pathetic crying by himself in the bathroom. He hated how much he wanted to be held and comforted now. 

The words Suga had said to him suddenly rang through his mind. 

_ If you need anything, don't hesitate to call or text me, okay? _

“Okay Suga-san…” he mumbled to himself and pulled out his phone. He dialed Suga's number. He listened to it ring for a few seconds before he picked up. 

“Hinata? Are you okay?” Suga's voice spoke through his phone. 

Hinata couldn't bring himself to speak right away, all that came out was a muffled sob.

“Hinata?! What's wrong?!” Suga asked, his voice sounded a lot more worried. “.... Did he say no?” he asked hesitantly. 

Hinata shook his head but realized Suga couldn't see. He took in a shaky breath and finally answered, “Not e-exactly…” 

“What do you mean?” 

Hinata didn't want to explain further. He was scared that Suga would be mad at him for not even trying to confess. “P-Promise you won't be mad?” he asked nervously.

“Hinata…” Suga's voice spoke softly through the phone, “I promise I won't be mad, now tell me what happened okay?” 

How softly Suga spoke put Hinata at ease. "O-Okay…" he squeaked out through his sobs. “I couldn't even confess…” he admitted. “I'm so sorry, I know you helped me out so much and I couldn't even confess!” he exclaimed in frustration, even more, tear started to flow down his cheeks. 

“Shh, shhh, Hinata it's okay. I'm not mad,” he soothed through the phone. 

This made Hinata's sobs calm down slightly. 

“Now…Why did you not confess? Was it too scary?” Suga asked calmly. He had no hint of annoyance in his voice. 

Hinata tried to wipe away his tears, only for more to flow down. “H-He doesn't love me… He...He loves Kuroo…” he answered with pure pain in his voice. 

“Oh Hinata…,” Suga responded. “Look it's gonna be okay alright? Don't be sad. There are plenty of other people in the world. You are literally a little ball of sunshine, I'm sure you'll find someone else,” he said with confidence in his voice.

Hinata shook his head, “No...he’s special Suga-San...he’s special…” he sobbed into the phone. He knew he wouldn’t be able to find anyone else like Kenma in the world. On the outside, Kenma may have seemed your typical socially anxious gamer boy, but that wasn’t all Hinata could see. To him, Kenma was much more than that. He couldn’t imagine anyone else he could hold hands with, go on cheesy dates with, and kiss. Anytime he would try to imagine someone else he felt sick to his stomach and the person would just be replaced with an image of Kenma.

Suga sighed, “Hinata, please don’t lose hope. Even if you don’t find someone else like Kenma, you’ll find someone else who is special in their own way. So please don’t think this is the end because it isn’t, okay?” He spoke with a bit of desperation in his voice.

Hinata sighed in defeat, even though he didn’t fully believe in Suga’s words, he saw no point in arguing it. “Okay...I’ll try…” he responded weakly, he wasn’t sobbing anymore, but he felt so tired. “I should get going now, Kenma will start wondering where I am haha,”He laughed weakly.

“Okay, ple-” Suga’s voice was cut off by Hinata hanging up the phone. He put his phone back in his pocket and slowly stood up from the ground. Hinata quickly smashed his face with some water to get rid of his tears. He stared into the mirror, his usual happy charm in his eyes had completely disappeared. It was replaced with a deadpanned look. 

“Hehe...this isn’t what the shojo manga said love was like,” Hinata weakly laughed.  _ I can’t let Kenma see me like this... _ He thought to himself. He started practicing fake smiles in the mirror. He did this for a few minutes until he was satisfied with one.

Hinata walked out of the bathroom and towards his room. “Hey, Kenma!” He greeted in his usual cheerful voice. 

Kenma quickly walked over to him, “Shouyou, what’s wrong?” he asked in a worried tone. 

Hinata’s fake smile faltered for a second but he kept it up, “Oh nothing, I just got a bit emotional over your letter. It was very…” he quickly searched through his vocabulary for the right word, “heartwarming, hehe,” he lied through his teeth. 

Kenma didn’t seem to buy his lie, “Why did you run away though?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh um...it was just a bit embarrassing. I mean, who cries over something like that? Hehe,” Hinata awkwardly laughed as he rubbed the nape of his neck. He knew he was bad at lying, but it wasn’t like he was going to tell Kenma the truth. He didn’t want to be selfish.

Kenma sighed in defeat, “Whatever, I know you’re lying but you don’t have to tell me what's wrong,” he sat back on the ground. “Let's just forget about this. How about we watch a movie,” he suggested.

Hinata let out a sigh of relief.  _ At least he won’t question me anymore….  _ He thought as he sat down next to Kenma. “Yeah, sounds good! Oooo, how about we watch Spirited Away?” he suggested with his usual cheerful smile. 

Kenma shrugged, “Yeah sure, I don’t care.”

“Okay!” Hinata put the movie on and they both sat on his bed

When they were about halfway through the movie, Hinata felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. He looked over and blushed at the sight of Kenma peacefully sleeping on his shoulder. He smiled sadly, knowing this will be the last time they would be close like this. He turned off the movie and snuggled closer to Kenma. He gently ran his hands through Kenma’s hair, “I love you…” he whispered as a single tear dripped down his cheek. He felt his eyes droop and he rested his head against Kenma’s.  _ Just...let me enjoy this...please… _ he begged to no one in particular. He knew this would only hurt him in the future, that he would look back on this memory with a mix of pain and fondness. But during this moment, he just enjoyed being this close with Kenma. 

Soon enough, he drifted off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the end folks! Who will Kenma end up with? 🤔


End file.
